Breaking Free From Burnout and Living a Joy-Filled Life
Special Edition Wisdom Column with entrepreneur and executive coach, Amina AITai
Dear Community,
We’re so excited to bring you a very special edition of this month’s Wisdom Column. It’s not every day we get to feature someone as inspiring and insightful as Amina AITai—an award-winning executive coach, leadership trainer, and passionate advocate for living in alignment.
In this powerful piece, Amina shares her wisdom on burnout, the hustle culture, and how to reclaim your ambition in a way that nourishes rather than depletes. Her approach is both refreshing and deeply transformative.
Amina is a proud immigrant, a chronic illness advocate, and a coach to some of the most influential leaders and founders today. Her brilliance lies in helping others connect to their brilliance—and lead from that place every single day. She’s also the author of the much-anticipated book The Ambition Trap, releasing May 13th (pre-order your copy here—you won’t want to miss it!).
With a client list that includes Google, Roku, Snap, Deloitte, and NYU, and features in outlets like goop, Well+Good, and The New York Times, Amina is a true force for meaningful change.
Please join us in congratulating Amina on her upcoming book release! We’re honored to share her voice and message with our community—it’s timely, powerful, and just what so many of us need right now.
With love,
PMPL
Part 1: The Ambition Trap
What inspired you to write The Ambition Trap?
I wrote The Ambition Trap because I saw a pattern—not just in my own life, but in the lives of so many high-achieving women and historically excluded leaders I’ve coached over the last decade. We’ve been taught that ambition means pushing harder, doing more, and proving our worth at all costs. And while that might lead to some external success, it often comes with burnout, self-doubt, and a deep sense of disconnection from ourselves. And that isn’t true success in my opinion.
For years, I was caught in that cycle—until I wasn’t.
Several years into my previous career as a marketing professional, my life looked perfect on paper. I had a prestigious title, was doing work that mattered, and was hitting all my goals. But behind the scenes, I felt awful—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I went to doctor after doctor, searching for answers. It wasn’t until my seventh visit, with my seventh physician, that someone finally took me seriously.
Then, on a sweltering July morning in New York City, I got a call that changed everything. My doctor, bloodwork in hand, told me that if I went to work instead of the hospital, I would be just days away from multiple organ failure.
After facing my own breaking point, I had to redefine what ambition actually meant to me. I realized that ambition, in its purest form, isn’t about constant striving or self-sacrifice. It’s about alignment, pacing, and purpose.
What was the biggest revelation you had while writing it?
In the book, I talk about two types of ambition; the first is painful ambition which is driven by our core wounds of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice. We each have one, two or all five of these wounds depending on our lived experiences. As a result of each of the core wounds, we often wear a corresponding mask. The wounds and masks are as follows:
By healing our core wounds and the protective masks we’ve built around them, we can begin to nurture ambition from a place of wholeness—or what I call purposeful ambition.
As someone who carries both rejection and betrayal wounds, I saw my control mask show up in a big way during the writing process. I wanted to control everything—the editing, the marketing, the sales—because deep down, despite years of inner work, a part of me still struggled to believe that I could fully rely on others for support.
Writing this book wasn’t just about sharing the work—it was about being the work. Every day, I had to practice what I was teaching, surrendering control and trusting the process. It was a reminder that healing is a daily practice.
If readers take away just one key lesson, what do you hope it will be?
I hope readers take away that ambition is for all of us, even if we make it wrong for some people. Ambition in its purest form is a desire to unfold. It’s neutral and natural, but we live in a world that tells some people it’s okay to take up space and that for others it isn’t. My hope is that we can all find a way to be unapologetically ambitious on our own terms and in a way that serves all people and the planet.
Part 2: Diving Deeper with Amina on Wisdom & Ambition
What’s one piece of wisdom you wish everyone knew early in their career?
I wish everyone knew that ambition moves in cycles, just like a perennial flower.
Early in our careers, we’re often taught that success is about constant upward momentum—more work, more wins, more hustle. But true ambition isn’t about relentless striving; it’s about growth, rest, and renewal.
Just like a flower, ambition begins with a seed—a desire to grow. We nurture that desire, water it with effort and learning, and inch our way upward. Then comes the bloom—the season where our gifts are fully expressed. But after every bloom, the flower doesn’t keep growing endlessly; it rests, it regenerates, it prepares for the next cycle.
The problem is, we aren’t taught to honor these natural seasons of growth and renewal. Instead, we push ourselves to be in full bloom all the time—leading to burnout, exhaustion, and disconnection.
If I could give one piece of advice, it would be this: trust the cycles. There will be seasons of expansion and seasons of stillness. Rest isn’t a pause in your ambition—it’s part of the process.
When did you realize your ambition was driven by pain rather than purpose, and how did that shift your path?
For years, my ambition was fueled by a deep need to prove my worth. I was overworking, over-delivering, and saying yes to everything because I believed that success would make me feel whole. But after my health crisis, I was forced to stop. That moment made me realize I wasn’t just chasing achievement—I was trying to heal internal wounds with external measures. That never works. Once I recognized that, I began redefining ambition as something that wasn’t about proving, but a reflection of our truth. It’s about allowing ourselves to unfold from a place of wholeness—rooted in purpose and contentment.
Purpose can feel overwhelming—how do you define it in a way that feels approachable?
Purpose can feel overwhelming, like this grandiose mission we have to “figure out.” But in The Ambition Trap, I explore a perspective that makes purpose feel far more expansive and attainable—one inspired by Stephen Cope’s definition: purpose is simply bringing forth the best that is within us.
Though our purpose can remain constant throughout our lives, we can recognize that the expression of our purpose shifts over time. How we want to embody it at 25 may not be the same at 45, and that’s okay. The key is to honor where we are in each season. With my clients, we use a framework of mine called the Aligned Leadership Framework and it helps us express our purpose in any given season and it is the coalescence of our gifts, values, what brings us contentment, what honors our needs, and is connected to the impact we want to have.
Rather than asking, What is my purpose?, try asking: How can I bring forth the best in me right now?
What are some of the key differences between the relationship immigrants vs. non-immigrants have with ambition?
Ambition is a culturally complex word. It manages to highlight our benefits or our alleged inadequacies depending on who is being labeled. A simple example of this is a study that found that ambitious men are seen as driven and powerful while ambitious women are often see as aggressive or power hungry.
In The Ambition Trap, I explore how our identity—our gender, race, ability, class, and lived experiences—directly impacts how we relate to ambition. Some of us are encouraged to chase big dreams, while others are told to shrink, stay quiet, or not "want too much." The same ambition that’s celebrated in one person can be seen as disruptive or ungrateful in another.
Women are told to speak up—but when we do, we’re called difficult.
People of color are told to take up space—but when we share our truth, it’s seen as inconvenient.
Disabled professionals are encouraged to step forward—but basic accommodations are often denied, making ambition feel like a constant uphill battle.
Our identity doesn’t just shape what we aspire to—it also dictates the barriers, biases, and trade-offs we face along the way. And for many historically excluded people, ambition has been about navigating systems that weren’t built with us in mind.
When we define success on our own terms, we free ourselves from the version of ambition that burns us out and step into ambition that honors our needs, values, and impact.
Ambition isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s ours to shape.
What advice would you give to those who feel stuck in the hustle cycle?
If you’re stuck in the hustle cycle, the first step is to understand the "why" behind your hustle—both personally and systemically.
From a personal psychology perspective, we need to ask: What am I really chasing? For many of us, overworking isn’t just about ambition—it’s about seeking validation, security, or belonging. Are you hustling to prove your worth? To avoid rejection? To meet an expectation that was never truly yours? Understanding these deeper motivations helps us untangle our self-worth from constant productivity.
But we can’t stop at the personal—we have to look at the systemic forces that drive the hustle mentality. Many of us, especially those from historically excluded communities, have been taught that success requires overcompensating just to be seen as enough. Hustle culture wasn’t created in a vacuum—it thrives in a system that undervalues certain identities, exploits labor, and glorifies burnout as a badge of honor.
Breaking free from the hustle cycle means redefining success on your terms—success that includes well-being, rest, and joy, not just output. It’s about unlearning the belief that rest must be earned and reclaiming ambition as something that nourishes you, not depletes you.
What do you think true balance is, and can we actually achieve it? If so, how?
I don’t love the language of balance because it implies a kind of stasis, as if we’re supposed to evenly distribute our time and energy across all areas of life at all times. That’s not how real life—or ambition—works. Instead, I prefer the language of agility.
Agility recognizes that different seasons require different allocations of our time, energy, and focus. There will be times when our work needs to be front and center, and other times when rest, relationships, or personal healing need to take priority. The key isn’t trying to keep everything in perfect rigid balance—it’s about staying attuned to what’s needed in each moment and adjusting accordingly.
Read More About How You Can Stop Chasing and Start Living
If you’re tired of the hustling or feeling the weight of burnout or you desire to have a more fulfilling career, this book is for you. In The Ambition Trap, Amina shows you how to break the cycle of overwork once and for all—and finally create the greatest, most joy-filled work of your life.