July Wisdom Column ✨
Reclaiming Self-Worth, Building Confidence, and Loving Yourself —from the Inside Out
Dear Community,
This month, let’s dive into what it means to come home to yourself—to reclaim your self-worth, build unshakable confidence, and practice the radical act of loving who you are, from the inside out.
To do so, we have something very special coming your way…
Mark your calendars: A powerful new podcast episode with Jen Pastiloff drops July 22nd! In this heart-opening conversation, we talk about life, letting love in, and what it means to authentically live out loud. You won’t want to miss a minute—so be sure to subscribe to our [YouTube channel] to stay up to date and catch the episode the moment it’s live.
To celebrate the launch of her brand-new book, Proof of Life (out TODAY!), we’re honored to feature Jen in this month’s Wisdom Column. Jen is a truth-teller, speaker, and fierce advocate for what she calls “The School of Whatever Works.” She’s refreshingly real, wildly honest, and endlessly inspiring—especially when it comes to letting go of shame and embracing your full, beautiful self.
Below, you’ll find deeply moving insights where Jen shares:
How she softens her inner critic with love (and humor).
Why telling the truth about her struggles changed everything.
The grounding “daily-ish” practice that helps her stay aligned.
And how she reframes fear by “hunting beauty” on purpose.
How do you deal with the inner critic or “inner bully” when it shows up?
Humor is one of my biggest tools. If I can laugh at that critical voice—even a little—it disarms it. I also have this practice I call the body prayer. You place your hands on a part of your body you’ve been mean to or ashamed of—your belly, your heart, wherever. And then you repeat, “I love you. I’m listening.” Say it over and over again, until something softens.
Then I write, stream-of-consciousness, from that place. What would that part of my body say if it could speak? That’s where the healing happens. I don’t care if it sounds silly—because it works. And if it works, that’s what matters. I call it The School of Whatever Works. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others, whatever works is sacred. We don’t need more rules—we need more self-compassion.
Have you always been this open and real, or did something shift?
Oh no, my love. I was the queen of hiding. I spent years pretending I was okay—while I was falling apart on the inside. After my dad died when I was eight, I locked my jaw—literally and emotionally. I couldn’t cry. I thought I had to be tough to survive. Vulnerability was terrifying to me. For years I carried grief, depression, and a raging eating disorder in silence.
What changed was this: the more I started telling the truth—about my deafness, about antidepressants, about the messy parts of being human—the more people came to me, thanking me. It shocked me. All the things I thought would make people run away were the things that made them lean in. That’s when I realized: my job isn’t to impress people, it’s to connect. Being real is what people are starving for—and it’s the only way I can live now.
What’s one practice that helps you stay grounded when life gets overwhelming?
I have this mantra I start my day with: “May I remember.” Because let’s be real—we already know the truth, we’ve just forgotten it. I say things like, “May I remember to breathe. May I remember not to take myself too seriously.” I call it a daily prayer—but really, it’s daily-ish. I’m not perfect. Some days I forget. Some days I start over at 4 p.m. But I keep coming back.
And I always say: welcome to T.S.O.W.W.—The School of Whatever Works. That’s my religion. There’s no one-size-fits-all way to be okay. For me, some days it’s prayer, some days it’s painting, some days it’s blasting 90s hip-hop and dancing like a fool in my kitchen. If it brings you back to yourself, it counts. Period.
How do you manage fear and self-doubt when you're doing big things—like releasing a book?
I still wake up some mornings thinking, “Everyone hates me,” and start looking for proof of it. That’s how sneaky the mind can be. But I’ve learned to pause and ask: What evidence am I looking for? Because you’ll always find what you’re looking for. So instead, I try to look for delight. Look for beauty. That’s why I created the idea of beauty hunting—it’s a practice of retraining the mind to notice what’s good.
And I’ll be honest—putting out a book is scary. I self-funded my tour. I’m not famous. I have to hustle. But I do it anyway, because I believe in what I’m saying. This isn’t about ego. It’s about survival. I can’t afford not to believe in myself. Courage isn't the absence of fear—it’s action in the face of it. That’s what living out loud really means.
If Jen’s candor and courage lit a spark in you, give yourself the gift of her new book Proof of Life—available now! It’s an honest, laugh-out-loud, utterly human guide to remembering who you are beneath the noise.
[Click here to order Proof of Life now.]
Thank you for being part of this growing, compassionate corner of the internet. May this month nudge you closer to the self you’ve always deserved to befriend.
With love,
The PMPL Team 💛